I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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