Christians are straight up FREAKS
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
