He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
