Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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