her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize