Capitaan dildo arrescate!
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
True college students do jello shots in the library
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