Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
