I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
