Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
