I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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