"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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