you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
