I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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