Duck Duck Cougar?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
