it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
