I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
