To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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