physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Best friends brother. Beat that.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just blew my weed a kiss
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
