Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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