$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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