If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
These tits shall not be calmed
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
