I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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