Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
