I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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