u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
