Don't you send me to vm
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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