is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
