My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
