WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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