she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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