I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
