i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
