the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
