i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
