I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
