Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
