i jhust puked up my retainher.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
