oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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