Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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