Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
