YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just found puke in my bra..
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
