Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
