I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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