..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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