I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
