Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
