how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
