I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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