so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
