I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
