I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
